To War - Part I
by markvpartan
Summary: Very short, I know. Will be longer next time.


It is a long time from now. 5922 A.D. to be exact. But it is not the future you expected. There are no flying cars or holograms. There are no hovercrafts or Transformers, and Half-Life 3 still hasn't been confirmed. It is as normal as the time you are reading this (unless you are reading this in 7000, or something). Except for drugs that slow down your aging process by numerous years. The Earth is populated by numerous strange beings. It is the time of Pridak, Carapar, Mantax, Kalmah, Ehlek and the Great Unknown, the six lords of Barraki. It is the time of the conspiracy known as Itanimulli. It is the time of Bob, who seeks to change the world he lives in.

Bob was one of the "strange beings" that populated the Earth, as he had a thick, grey substance running through his veins, enabling him immortality (He was currently in his 2741st year), the ability to shapeshift and strech his limbs infinitely. Despite this, he looked as normal as the people you see today. He always wore red. He liked to wear red because it is the colour of blood. Bob was a tough person, taking down Al Qaeda, Hitler, and even people from Itanimulli. He was loaded. Possessing the finest tools and weapons, such as The Blade, infamous for being able to slice anything and everything, a time-travel device in disguise as an 1800's pocket watch, and a suitcase. Nobody knew what was even in this suitcase, not even Bob's teammates. He was seeking to destroy the lords of Barraki. Pridak, lord of stone. Carapar, lord of fire. Mantax, lord of decomposition. Ehlek, lord of poison. Kalmah, lord of lava, and The Great Unknown. These six entities were working with Itanimulli, and were responsible for everything. 9/11, World War I and II, JFK and Lincoln's assassinations, everything was thanks to Itanimulli and the lords of Barraki.

Bob once ruled the land known as Ducor, it was peaceful. There were no people in need, no faggots, no girls addicted to taking "selfies." It was a beautiful land. Of course, this is where the lords of Barraki come in. Buildings were burning, melting into toxic waste, turning black and crumbling to pieces, people were getting poisoned, burned in the lava, and turned to stone. It was awful. It was one of the worst experiences the world had seen so far. Bob could never forget that screeching, croaking voice yelling out "Kill them! Kill them all!" He was the only survivor.

That was over fifty years ago. Bob was now ready for revenge. But unlike his usual self, he wasn't going alone.

"_Fred!_" yelled Bob, banging on one of his teammates' door, who, surprisingly, lived in a twelve-storey house.

"Oh, what the hell is it now?" growled a rather angry voice, stomping to the door and swinging it open. It was a gingerbread man.

"I'm going to Ducor to kill the lords of Barraki and destroy Itanimulli."

Fred was silent for a few seconds, then he spoke:

"You want me to walk for three weeks, just to commit suicide?"

"Sure, we might all die," said Bob, "but it's worth a shot."

Fred slammed the door. Bob raised a smile, then walked off.

It was 6pm. Fred was enjoying his evening cup of coffee. The door banged loudly, as if someone was throwing rocks at it.

"Who on earth could that be at this hour?" Fred mumbled to himself, reluctantly standing up. He walked to the door and opened it. An enormous foot stood there, it could've barely squeezed in the door, let alone the body attached to it.

"Would ye mind letting me in... erm... the other way?" bellowed a pirate-like voice.

"Definitely the best idea." said Fred, and pulled a lever next to the door. The roof opened, then the ceiling opened, then another one, and another one, and soon all twelve ceilings were open. The entity known as MetalBeard dived in the building.

"Right, so where is everyone?" he said.

"_Everyone?_" said Fred.

"Urm, yea. I was told there'd be thirteen of us."

"Thirteen of - _wait._ Told by who?"

"Well, it's obvious ye'll soon find out!" MetalBeard started to wander around Fred's house. It was enormous, even for MetalBeard.

It had now been a quarter of an hour, the door knocked again (not with as much force as last time). It was E-MOD. He was once a veteran in the army (in 4287), but he suffered an accident so severe that only his head remained (possibly planned by Itanimulli, because of how good he was). The head was found by Bob in 5195, and because he was skilled at so many things, he was able to program the head into a large, black suit of armour (almost indestructible) and had lived almost as old as Bob.

"Greetings, Fred. It has been approximately seven years, two months, one week, twelve days and four hours since we last met." he said, with absolutely no emotion in his voice at all.

"Now then, Simon. Come in." Fred said. E-MOD walked in, but only a few seconds after Fred closed the door, it banged again.

"I assume that is the door, sir." said The Mech.

"You think I don't already know that?" said Fred, opening the door again. This time, not only one person stood there. There were _three_.

"Long time, no see." said The Lone Ranger, accompanied by Tonto and Woody. You may be thinking Woody needs to be described and explained, but I assume you have already heard of the series of frames known as "Toy Story." But what must be told is that all of the tales told of The Lone Ranger are wrong. It was not just him and Tonto, it was him, Tonto and Woody.

"Five down, hopefully eight to go." sighed Fred as the threesome walked in. A few seconds later, the door banged _again_.

As Fred opened the door, eight people tumbled in the house. There was Dave, a Stormtrooper who lost his left arm in a freak accident. There was Bilbo and Frodo Baggins, possibly brought back from time. There was Judge Dredd, Master Chief, Batman, Deadpool (surprisingly), and Edward Bowler. The last of which was nicknamed "Ebola" (look carefully at his name). Just when Fred thought fourteen (counting himself) was enough, Bob lowered his head.

"Of all the people to find," sighed Fred, "and you bring Ebola? Why did you bring so many people, anyway?"

"You've known me long enough to know that I don't take no as an answer!" chuckled Bob, and stepped in as soon as the other eight got up. "Besides, with a job like this, I'll need an _army_."

"This isn't a very big 'army.'" said Fred, and closed the door.


End file.
